if you’ve communicated accurately and encouragingly, kids inherently know that something they did was “good,” and they’re motivated to do it again. Instead of telling your kids that they just made you feel proud, they decide feel proud of themselves. Their accomplishments, as they should be, are about them, not you.
When a child is misbehaving, have faith that they are capable of learning what to do and give them a chance to do it over. In other words, encourage learning and making amends instead of deciding to punish or shame. When we parent with the intent to be encouraging, we don’t focus on evaluating their steps as “good” or “bad” but rather we seek to help them find their own way, to feel capable and interested in learning, achieving, doing and discovering.