Alternatives to Punishment

Better behavior without punishment is possible. It takes commitment, connection and a focus on cooperation. Children naturally follow the guidance of those they trust. Children also want to learn and grow, especially when they feel connected to you. The alternatives to punishment you find in this section will focus on real solutions and learning tools, to help children feel more connected, capable and cooperative.

Why take a positive approach to discipline and find alternatives to punishment? Studies show that children that are raised with inflexible, punishment based discipline have lower self-esteem and struggle with making good decisions on their own. The alternatives to punishment in this section are all aimed at helping you find the confidence you need when setting limits and boundaries. And keeping a loving, respectful, thriving relationship with your child.

3 Examples of Moving From Compliance to Cooperation

by Ariadne Brill

Using compliance as a parenting strategy commonly involves conflicts, power struggles and threats of losing a privilege, punishment or bribery. Many parents want and expect compliance because they are the parent or “things need to get done” or “time is of the essence” or safety is a concern. However, compliance often comes at the expense…

How to Discipline Through Connection Using Your Child’s Love Language

by Angela Pruess

My arms were still sore from scrubbing the dark streaks of marker my toddler had happily scribbled, off our porous pine dining table. I turned toward my oldest daughter. “I just told you not to leave your special (read; nonwashable) markers out where your little brother can reach them!” Had I been talking to a…

Positive Parenting: How To Encourage Children to Follow Your Guidance

by Ariadne Brill

Skip time out and other hurtful “discipline” techniques: Children learn right from wrong, not because they were sent to the corner alone, but because they begin to understand expectations and situations, and because they have enough information that will ultimately help them make better decisions.

Positive Discipline for Attention Seeking Behaviors

by Kelly Pfeiffer

You’re feeling annoyed. Your child keeps bothering you with the same behavior. “Stop!” you huff for the tenth time, but it happens again. Why can’t my child just listen to me, you think. You’re confused as to the reason your child would continue to do something over and over again when you’ve made it clear that…

Toddlers making Trouble: 11 Helpful Alternatives to Timeout

by Ariadne Brill

Toddlers don’t really mean to be making trouble, they spend their days trying to understand and discover their environment, their place and space in the world.
Often, it’s hard to know how to best handle the messy, sassy, yucky situations. Time outs are so popular in the toddler years, yet just placing a toddler in the corner or on a naughty chair is unlikely to prevent a re-occurance as toddlers will not really learn by pouting all alone

How to Discipline when your Child Tells Tall-Tales, Fibs and Lies

by Ariadne Brill

Understanding why children tell lies and how to discipline in a way that fosters honesty and healthy development. “My room was full of flying dragons last night, they knocked over the books, not me!” Children often tell fibs, stretch a tale and blame mysterious creatures for misbehaviour. Lying, is actually a sign of intelligence. While…

10 Playful Solutions For Morning & Evening Routines : Parents S.H.A.R.E

by Positive Parenting Connection

“Play is our brain’s favorite way of learning.” -Diane Ackerman In this Parents S.H.A.R.E. post, our positive parenting community is sharing how they have used play as a parenting tool when faced with a variety of challenges during the morning and evening routines, from races to singing silly songs here are many fun ideas!!

How to Reduce Attention Seeking Behavior In a Positive Way

by Ariadne Brill

Attention Seeking is very normal behavior for young children. With positive discipline you can help your child behave better without acting out. Children often seek attention in mistaken ways. When you offer guidance, you can help your child feel connected, understood and ready to make better choices. As children grow they become very skilled at…

Toddler Misbehavior and Defiance Improves with Positive Discipline

by Ariadne Brill

Inside: Defiance and misbehavior in the toddler years is very normal. Positive discipline makes it easier for you to stop unwanted behaviors and guide your toddler to behave in better ways. Your misbehaving toddler might be giving you a headache or a hard time, but rest assured that toddler defiance is very normal. Toddler defiance…

Positive Parenting: What To Do When Your Child Lies To You

by Ariadne Brill

When children lie, taking a break to cool off before addressing the situation can help you first find the emotional space and the right tools to move forward. An effective way to deal with lies is to remember the TRUTH: Traps, Respect, Understanding, Time Off and Honesty. Read on to find out more…

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