Speaking forcefully with threats, bribes, empty promises or lies seldom gets us any closer to “getting” children to willingly do what we hope them to do. When we speak kindly, with the intent to connect, explain or share, our ideas become appealing and interesting and the other person can feel welcomed into the conversation and welcomed into potential solutions.
Welcome to the Beyond Discipline: 10 Building Blocks for Positive Parenting Series. This is the 4th post in a series
I won’t pretend that it wasn’t
frustrating, constantly stopping what I was doing to pick up, comfort and
carry my toddler but I had to keep reminding myself that he had no idea
what was going on, what was next or where we were going, so he absolutely
needed all the comfort and reassurance that we could offer.
When a child is misbehaving, have faith that they are capable of learning what to do and give them a chance to do it over. In other words, encourage learning and making amends instead of deciding to punish or shame. When we parent with the intent to be encouraging, we don’t focus on evaluating their steps as “good” or “bad” but rather we seek to help them find their own way, to feel capable and interested in learning, achieving, doing and discovering.
A sense of family matters to children. It doesn’t matter if it is a small family or a large one, single parent or two – what matters is that the child feels like they belong and have a place in their family. Children that feel like they belong to something bigger than themselves tend to be…
In a loving environment, as parents we can instead strive to be warm and compassionate even in the face of behavior that is unacceptable. In which ways might you be using love as a currency with your child? Do you refuse to give them affection when they have done something that you disapprove of?
The true aim of parental discipline should be to teach, guide and not inflict shame, pain, anguish or fear. Positive
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The long summer days or the chilly winter breaks can be a perfect opportunity for parents to spend some really
Let’s face it, sometimes we put a whole heck of a lot of pressure on ourselves (and on our children)