Child….”You drive me crazy!” “You are such a brat!” “You never listen to me!”
Do you ever catch yourself thinking or saying things like that about your child? Do you struggle to gain control of your interactions, wishing, hoping, pleading that things just go smooth for once? Maybe it’s not all the time, just occasionally but even then you feel things are JUST not WORKING!!!
Here is the thing: Are these thoughts really true or just how things seem in THAT moment?
Is your child “driving you crazy” or do you have a million and one things on your mind?
Is your child a “BRAT” or having a really tough time with something, maybe they are tired, hungry, getting sick, or needing to reconnect, take a breather etc…?
Are your expectations, thoughts and feelings all in alignment, realistic or possibly needing a little adjustment?
What might happen if you take responsibility for your feelings, thoughts and decisions in that moment? What happens if you strive to accept that your child has at time complicated feelings and that they need you to coach and guide them through it all?
Here are five things you can do to help you when it feels like your child is driving you crazy:
1. Ask questions and try to really understand what is going on with your child and the situation.
2. Involve your child. Let your child be part of the solution by asking them to help solve the issue.
3. Stop picking at the little things and instead look at all the positives and great thing your child does well.
4. Spend time together that is meaningful – no screens or phones to interrupt. Making time to connect daily really makes a huge difference!
5. Double check your expectations – is what you want really developmentally feasible?
As parents, we must be willing to be a part of the solution, to face the problem together with our child and not make the child the problem. Maybe there is a problem, a need, a something that you can tackle and transform into a solution. Chances are, no matter how difficult a day is going, it’s probably not just our child that is driving us crazy or being a brat – but rather something within ourselves or in the relationship that needs some attention.
So what is challenging you lately?
Peace & Be Well
Ariadne
Ariadne Brill