Sometimes we find ourselves in a bad mood, tired, hungry or stressed out…but our children still need us and yet we feel simply too angry to deal! What can we do? How can we meet our child’s needs, keep parenting and just get through that moment?
Here are some Solutions, Hope and Real Experiences from parents of the positive parenting community on what they do when they are too angry to deal:
Think Positively
I try to think of some positive aspect about my child and remind myself that this moment will also pass. – Shweta.
I have a list of things I love about my child, I go to that list and read it over and over again until I feel more positive about what is going on. -Anonymous
I always get frustrated at the end of the day, I’m just tired, so I keep my thoughts on positive things like how cute my kids looks when they are sleeping and how quiet the house will be when I get a chance to read a book all by myself! -Leanne.
Talk about it with a partner or friend
What we do is talk about how we are feeling in the moment to each other and we always remind ourselves and each other that he is not upset at times for no reason and his crying is his way of communicating with us. Talking about your feelings with your partner really helps to keep each other on track. -Greig
When my day is going badly I call my best friend and tell her I need to vent or I will loose it. She gets to call me anytime too. We are both moms of toddlers so we get it, we love our kids but sometimes we just have to let someone else in on the crazy! When I hang up I hug my kids and feel ready to keep going -J.S.
Take a Break & Take a Deep Breath
I like to take a breath then usually cuddle my little guy. -Samantha
Leave the room (and the screaming child) and take some deep breaths. Then I can return with renewed patience and energy to help them solve whatever they are upset about. – Willow
If you know you might freak out over things, give yourself a minute to calm down before addressing it. After all, we want our kids to learn and do better next time, and know that we love, understand, and accept them, and that no matter what, they can always know that we are here to love and guide them, with only their best interest at heart. – Heather
When all else fails, sit or lie down and say, “Hang on, I need a minute to breathe and figure out what to to next.” – Sarah
I need a mommy break every week, just one hour or so too myself. If I can have that time, then I feel ready to tackle life with five kids but if I miss that break, the stress starts to pile on and I turn into mean mommy. Take breaks mamas it really helps!!! -Annie
Rewind & Do Over
I regroup and “Do-over”…I realize my modeling positive behavior after blowing it is as if not MORE important than “doing it right” in the first place. Everyone loses their cool. How I make it right is key. – Claire
The “rewind” button is super helpful. – Sarah
Be Aware
I also try to know what it feels like when I’m “heading toward” losing my temper so I can stop or slow w-a-y down before it actually happens. – Sarah
After really blowing it with my kids a few times, I started to notice the little things that were setting me off, now I try to get a grip and change course ahead of time. Of course sometimes I don’t make it but when I hear my nasty voice I can stop myself and remember that I want to do better. -Amy
Turn up the Music
Just put on some music and dance…dance until everyone is giggling and feeling better! It sounds weird but it really works, even if you have really little time, 30 seconds of music helps! -anonymous
Write it out
I keep a journal and If I’m having a tough time, I go to my journal and write it all down so that I can re-focus. The writing helps me realize what I’m really mad about, and it’s usually not what my kids are doing but really that I have something going on in my life that is making me stressed and that way I can re-focus and not take it out on the kids. -Jamie
Apologize
I’ve learned that I can apologize. I’m not saying that as an excuse to just yell but to say we should forgive ourselves and also let our children know we feel badly and that we are sorry because it shows them what we hope they will do if they yell at us or at someone else one day if they also feel angry. -Michelle
Be Mindful and Present
Sometimes I feel like I’m thinking about everything I need to do but forget that my child needs me in that moment to be really there, focused on him. So I put my thoughts on hold and focus just on him and then things get done so much faster because we are totally in sync instead of me thinking of a million things and not really paying attention to him. – Melanie
If I can just breathe and know that what my baby needs is for me to be calm and really present then we both calm down and can just be together. I like to look into his eyes and feel so blessed to be a mom! – Emma
Thank you to all parents that shared their solutions, hope and real experiences!!!
No matter how much you love your child there will be moments when you feel totally frustrated, angry, and at a loss for what to do…that is OK…positive parenting is NOT about perfection…instead strive to solve these conflicts in a respectful manner, cool off, think it over, don’t be afraid to say “let’s start this over!” What do you do when you are too angry to deal?
Peace & Be Well,
Ariadne
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Parents S.H.A.R.E are posts that have Solutions, Hope And Real Experiences from the positive parenting connection community that have helped and inspired other parents that are facing similar challenges.
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Ariadne Brill
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