when we are kind and others are kind to us, it has the power to create happiness! When our children experience kindness, in our requests, in our actions and intentions, our world together can become a brighter and happier experience. Children will listen and cooperate because our requests are sincere, understandable and our expectations are fair and presented in a considerate way.
No matter how much you love your child there will be moments when you feel totally frustrated, angry, and at a loss for what to do…that is OK…positive parenting is NOT about perfection…instead strive to solve these conflicts in a respectful manner, cool off, think it over, don’t be afraid to say “let’s start this over!” What do you do when you are too angry to deal?
As parents, we create a sense of safety for our children not only by meeting their physical needs such as nourishment and rest, we also create a safe home when we show our children that we love them by meeting their emotional and social needs for touch, care, learning, giving them the freedom to express themselves creatively, and emotionally and using positive parenting tools to deal with mistakes and “misbehavior”.
Have you ever had a conversation a bit like this? “Can I have that toy?” “Not today.” “But’s it’s my
As parents, our days are often busy and bustling, whether we go out to work or not. And although these busy days have their pros – we get to socialize, make friends, change our scenery, get fresh air and be productive – they can also be difficult and overstimulating for our children.
Responsibility is not something we can demand or insist upon from our children. It is something that is learned, by trial and error, by observation and by receiving ample chances to do things over again when needed. The process of learning responsibility can come with great pride and sometimes it involves experiencing failure and disappointment. Responsibility is about having the mindfulness to solve problems in a way that reflects our inner values of goodness, peace and kindness.
Speaking forcefully with threats, bribes, empty promises or lies seldom gets us any closer to “getting” children to willingly do what we hope them to do. When we speak kindly, with the intent to connect, explain or share, our ideas become appealing and interesting and the other person can feel welcomed into the conversation and welcomed into potential solutions.
Welcome to the Beyond Discipline: 10 Building Blocks for Positive Parenting Series. This is the 4th post in a series
I won’t pretend that it wasn’t
frustrating, constantly stopping what I was doing to pick up, comfort and
carry my toddler but I had to keep reminding myself that he had no idea
what was going on, what was next or where we were going, so he absolutely
needed all the comfort and reassurance that we could offer.
if you’ve communicated accurately and encouragingly, kids inherently know that something they did was “good,” and they’re motivated to do it again. Instead of telling your kids that they just made you feel proud, they decide feel proud of themselves. Their accomplishments, as they should be, are about them, not you.