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Consistency sometimes turns into rigidity and control.Will there be times when consistency is important? Absolutely, but being flexible does not take away your ability to be consistent. Positive parenting is flexible and amazing because you can be flexible and consistent. You can be consistently open to new ideas and re-evaluation, consistently kind, mindful and committed to parenting well!
I am sure many parents have searched this topic before, what should my child know at age _fill in blank__?
when we are kind and others are kind to us, it has the power to create happiness! When our children experience kindness, in our requests, in our actions and intentions, our world together can become a brighter and happier experience. Children will listen and cooperate because our requests are sincere, understandable and our expectations are fair and presented in a considerate way.
No matter how much you love your child there will be moments when you feel totally frustrated, angry, and at a loss for what to do…that is OK…positive parenting is NOT about perfection…instead strive to solve these conflicts in a respectful manner, cool off, think it over, don’t be afraid to say “let’s start this over!” What do you do when you are too angry to deal?
As parents, we create a sense of safety for our children not only by meeting their physical needs such as nourishment and rest, we also create a safe home when we show our children that we love them by meeting their emotional and social needs for touch, care, learning, giving them the freedom to express themselves creatively, and emotionally and using positive parenting tools to deal with mistakes and “misbehavior”.
Have you ever had a conversation a bit like this? “Can I have that toy?” “Not today.” “But’s it’s my
Responsibility is not something we can demand or insist upon from our children. It is something that is learned, by trial and error, by observation and by receiving ample chances to do things over again when needed. The process of learning responsibility can come with great pride and sometimes it involves experiencing failure and disappointment. Responsibility is about having the mindfulness to solve problems in a way that reflects our inner values of goodness, peace and kindness.
I won’t pretend that it wasn’t
frustrating, constantly stopping what I was doing to pick up, comfort and
carry my toddler but I had to keep reminding myself that he had no idea
what was going on, what was next or where we were going, so he absolutely
needed all the comfort and reassurance that we could offer.
When a child is misbehaving, have faith that they are capable of learning what to do and give them a chance to do it over. In other words, encourage learning and making amends instead of deciding to punish or shame. When we parent with the intent to be encouraging, we don’t focus on evaluating their steps as “good” or “bad” but rather we seek to help them find their own way, to feel capable and interested in learning, achieving, doing and discovering.
In a loving environment, as parents we can instead strive to be warm and compassionate even in the face of behavior that is unacceptable. In which ways might you be using love as a currency with your child? Do you refuse to give them affection when they have done something that you disapprove of?