Author name: Alice Hanscam

Alice is a PCI Certified Parent Coach® with a B.A. in Child Study and a graduate level certification for coaching through the Parent Coaching Institute and Seattle Pacific University. She is a proud mother of two (nearly) grown daughters who are spreading their wings and leaving smiles behind as they go. Click here to purchase Alice's new book: Parenting Inspired: Finding Grace in the Chaos, Confidence in Yourself, and Gentle Joy along the Way

Family Communication, Help By Age & Stage, Kids 5 - 12 years

What is the Difference between Praise and Encouragement?

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focusing on their abilities/strengths/qualities–things you want to encourage for they help our children become more confident, feel more capable, able to take risks, to rally from mistakes, to move through struggle. To know “I can really use my brain” sets a child up to work through a tough homework problem in an empowering way. Hearing “You are so smart!” can leave a child at a loss when they don’t do well on a test, or when they can’t figure out a problem. Using “You CAN be” instead of “You ARE…” gives a child the chance to be something else. Empowering!

positive parenting behavior change
Kids 5 - 12 years, Parenting, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Tweens 10-12 years

Looking At Behavior Through A Different Lens

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I believe you’ll discover how you choose to respond to your child will be in ways that support and encourage and affirm them for who they are.
In return, they can feel empowered…and that child on the periphery may begin to move into the group and engage; the child that feels so deeply begins to understand and accept her feelings even more–allowing her to manage those feelings better and better; the eye-rolling/sarcastic stuff from your teen can lessen…and they may begin to open up about what is really troubling them; the button pushing turns into more cooperative behavior and you feel calmer and more patient daily

Family Communication, Positive Discipline, Preschoolers 3-5 yrs, Toddlers 12- 36 months

When Children Test Limits and Don’t Accept Choices

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Consider this. Your child chose C because it is his job. His job to practice being in charge of himself as often as possible. Her job to test you, to let you know HER preference, to state loud and clear “I am the boss of ME!” And your child is right. He IS the boss of himself, and as the boss, he gets to ultimately decide what choice he will make. This is truly evidence of just the kind of self-directed, independent soul you (most of the time) want to grow. Someone who is in charge of themselves.

Okay, but you still need to get out the door. To continue to support your child in their quest to be independent it is important to respect their choice. How does this look and still get out the door–maybe on time?

sharing and kids
Family Communication, Parenting, Toddlers 12- 36 months

Positive Parenting: Rethinking “You Have To Share That!”

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Sharing requires understanding of another person’s feelings and desires. Sharing is about being creative with another as you use something together, it is about being compassionate and giving, it is about being respectful. How do our young one’s grow into the sharing mode? By our understanding of THEIR feelings and desires, our compassion, our giving, our being respectful of them. It also begins with complete ownership over something.

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