positive discipline, parenting tools, parenting help, discipline for families, discipline help
Parents don’t need to wait for children to come to them for touches, hugs, whole-body-scoops and kisses. Being regularly physically affectionate with kids of all ages actually helps maintain the emotional connection they share with their parents. When that bond remains strong, challenging behavioral situations decrease and discipline becomes less intense overall.
Parenting and setting limits does not need to come from a place of over powering our children or letting children take the power over us. In fact, I think that forgetting about words like power and battles helps a whole lot too. Instead of focusing on “who” holds power, I like to think that there is a lot of positive power when my children and I can combine our ideas and efforts to find great solutions.
It’s beyond unfortunate to see so many people cheering on the shame and the humiliation that so many parents are freely dishing out. It’s human nature to instinctively want to fit in with others and behavior is incredibly contagious…Shame and humiliation teach shame and humiliation. On the other hand, kindness begets kindness, respect brings about respect.
Creating and using family rules can be a positive and family oriented activity. Family rules do not need to be a long exhausting list of “can’t dos” to be effective either. Here are some ideas to consider when writing up family rules:
Toddlers and hitting is a common challenge for parents, so much so it’s often referred to as a behavior problem. But really, getting toddlers to stop hitting often comes down to understanding the reasons toddlers hit, understanding how hitting make us parents feel. They way we react to children hitting can either fuel the problem or lead towards better connection and helping our child learn different ways to express their feelings.Often the more negatively we feel about the hitting the more we might inadvertently prolong the problem.
Most parents that use time out do so with good intentions and sometimes, a time out can give parents and children a chance to take a break from each other to cool off. However, non punitive parenting tools such as Time In are really effective in helping children develop life long skills such as regulating emotions and making decisions. It’s a mistaken but deeply ingrained notion that children need to feel bad about their behavior in order to change it. Learn more about time in and time out.
As a general rule of thumb, if you have to think too hard about what to do to a child so that he learns a lesson, the logical consequence is most likely a punishment in disguise. To ensure that logical consequences don’t become punitive, first try to figure out what the natural consequence is. We can do this by taking ourselves out of the situation. “What would happen if I stepped out of this and let my child handle this problem?”
Have you ever had a conversation a bit like this? “Can I have that toy?” “Not today.” “But’s it’s my
Trick or Treating is coming up soon! Are you already dreading all the candy in the house? Wondering how to
If a child is whining when trying something new, it could mean he is feeling scared or anxious. the sooner you can respond and help your child move beyond the whine and onto addressing the real issue at hand the better. You don’t have to give in to the whine, but rather get to the real issue and meet your child’s need. This not only stops the whine, it also builds trust and strengthens your connection!