Skip time out and other hurtful “discipline” techniques: Children learn right from wrong, not because they were sent to the corner alone, but because they begin to understand expectations and situations, and because they have enough information that will ultimately help them make better decisions. Continue Reading
How to Mindfully Recharge your Parental Empathy Bank Parenting has the potential to deplete us of all energy and form, leaving us feeling fatigued, confused, frustrated and overwhelmed. There are days when parenting can deplete us so profoundly that it becomes exceedingly difficult to see past our immediate day to day needs. During times like… Continue Reading
The “I can’t” stage is a tough one. Parents often feel torn about how to handle these two words. Some parents feel that they should step right in and help because it is their parental duty. Others feel that those two words are unacceptable and that their child must at least “try.” The optimal way to… Continue Reading
Most parents have great intentions when they come up with limits and boundaries. Which rules to set and why they are important are usually clear. The power struggles and negotiation start when parents find that keeping those limits, following through, just doesn’t go so well. While most children will not actually admit to wanting or… Continue Reading
Consider this. Your child chose C because it is his job. His job to practice being in charge of himself as often as possible. Her job to test you, to let you know HER preference, to state loud and clear “I am the boss of ME!” And your child is right. He IS the boss of himself, and as the boss, he gets to ultimately decide what choice he will make. This is truly evidence of just the kind of self-directed, independent soul you (most of the time) want to grow. Someone who is in charge of themselves.
Okay, but you still need to get out the door. To continue to support your child in their quest to be independent it is important to respect their choice. How does this look and still get out the door–maybe on time? Continue Reading
Danny just turned three years old and he used to be that kid. That kid that bites, hits and screams at playgroup…The kid everyone kind of sighs about when he arrives. That kid that ends up being placed in time out several times or taken home mid activity. Danny isn’t that kid anymore! Here is a glimpse of what… Continue Reading
Do you ever feel badly that a parenting tool everyone thinks is oh so great isn’t working for you? Or just frustrated in general that a tool you would like to use doesn’t seem to work? No matter how great a parenting tool may seem, in truth, parenting tools are not one size fits all. Sometimes… Continue Reading
IT IS GLUE! IT IS STICKY! MAMA LOOK!!!”
What a beautiful process this was, to watch my daughter lead the way in her own learning. Direction has a place, instructions sometimes are needed but moments like this remind me that our children often, very often, have the answers within themselves. Continue Reading
Natural Consequences are often talked about as the go-to gentle alternative to punitive actions like time-outs or removing privileges. Using natural consequences can, in fact, be an excellent parenting tool, but sometimes resorting to natural consequences may be ineffective and downright dangerous. When used properly, children can learn a lot from natural consequences, however… Continue Reading
Getting children to cooperate and listen is probably the most shared concern I hear from parents. Similar themes repeat themselves, over and over.
“How do I get my kids to do their homework?”
“How do I get my kids to listen to me? I’m so tired of yelling…for nothing…it makes no difference!”
Our job as parents can be tough as the balancing act of encouraging cooperation positively and needing to get things done unfolds each day. Let’s be honest, what we want and what our children want are often out of synch. It’s easy, alright, a lot easier when everyone is smiling, cooperating and listening. Fostering cooperation reduces the need to yell, nag and demand. Continue Reading