Using compliance as a parenting strategy commonly involves conflicts, power struggles and threats of losing a privilege, punishment or bribery. Many parents want and expect compliance because they are the parent or “things need to get done” or “time is of the essence” or safety is a concern. However, compliance often comes at the expense… Continue Reading
Do you have a curious preschooler? What would happen if you accepted her mistakes, appreciated effort and then simply supported your child in their endeavors? I often find that not demanding, not reprimanding but simply supporting children and helping them find a solution, from a place of love, appreciation and connection goes such a long way! Continue Reading
Our children will make mistakes, they may make bad choices. We probably will too…that is ok, we don’t have to be perfect BUT we can strive and decide to make better choices! We can lead the way, we can ask for forgiveness, forgive, look for alternatives, provide solutions and most of all, we can be the safe and trusted placed our children need us to be. Continue Reading
From adventurous, to predictable to downright picky, children have many many styles of eating. While some parents are quick to believe that there is one right way to get children to eat everything or a magic parenting tool to raise “good” or adventurous eaters, I’m more inclined to believe that it’s a mix of things,… Continue Reading
By choosing non-punitive or positive parenting ways I did give up control (or the illusion of control really) but I gained this incredible sense of family harmony, of connection, of so much joy. No we don’t always get it right, and it’s not always smooth sailing, but none of us are afraid to say sorry, take a huge breath, start over or try again. The best part is that much more than public questioning or tsk tsking that the other mom warned about, to my surprise I often hear awesome comments and see frowns turn into smiles. Continue Reading
We all want positive, respectful relationships with our children—and we want our children to
grow up experiencing the same. Using the power of pause is a simple tool that has the
profound ability to transform our relationships, from infancy on. Continue Reading
Creating and using family rules can be a positive and family oriented activity. Family rules do not need to be a long exhausting list of “can’t dos” to be effective either. Here are some ideas to consider when writing up family rules: Continue Reading
Toddlers and hitting is a common challenge for parents, so much so it’s often referred to as a behavior problem. But really, getting toddlers to stop hitting often comes down to understanding the reasons toddlers hit, understanding how hitting make us parents feel. They way we react to children hitting can either fuel the problem or lead towards better connection and helping our child learn different ways to express their feelings.Often the more negatively we feel about the hitting the more we might inadvertently prolong the problem. Continue Reading
Trust that your child is capable of doing things, solving problems and overcoming his feelings. This doesn’t mean we cannot be helpful, encouraging or be a supportive presence but it does mean it’s alright to let them go ahead and feel their feelings and do things on their own keeping in mind what is age appropriate and safe. Continue Reading
As a general rule of thumb, if you have to think too hard about what to do to a child so that he learns a lesson, the logical consequence is most likely a punishment in disguise. To ensure that logical consequences don’t become punitive, first try to figure out what the natural consequence is. We can do this by taking ourselves out of the situation. “What would happen if I stepped out of this and let my child handle this problem?” Continue Reading